Please will you unfold your arms!

Many people possess a habit which often is annoying to other people. Wives can be nagging so consistently, the husbands tune in and out at what they are saying. Teenage boys have a desire to impress their female counterparts by habitually doing ridiculous stunts and acts. Nose picking, ear pulling, tongue clicking, and pen tapping are further examples of some rather exasperating habits. Worst of all is one which has failed to be mentioned. It is not often the first to be listed as an annoying habit, yet remains atop of job interview no no's. Folded arms are alas the most childishly rude, fantastically unattractive, incredibly annoying form of body language anyone can display to you. Often used to create a wall between you and the people you're speaking with, defensiveness and insecurity are the main reasons for holding this pose. How long will it be before people begin to notice just how antisocial this form of body language is?

Whenever one prepare's for a job interview, folding your arms at any time during the interview indicates defensiveness, reluctance, an insecurity, a lack of belief in one's ability to persuade and answer the questions. It should be no different in everyday social interactions. Folding one's arms has become so alarmingly frequent, subconsciously your arms move up and over the chest, remaining there for whoever knows how long. The person who does this is telling you "I'm uncomfortable." Uncomfortable about what? What's being said? Who the person is? A fear of being embarrassed? The social setting they're in? Not only does that person exude an uncomfortable persona, the other person in conversation (arms crossed or not) cannot help but feel as if they're letting this "uncomfortable" person down by not creating an social setting where this person is comfortable to speak openly and freely. They leave asking "What did I do wrong?" Do not take accountability for someone else feeling uncomfortable. Unfold your arms and show these people you're not uncomfortable being around them. Sooner or later, they'll do the same.

The worst element of someone folding their arms is the anti-social element it conveys. Considering a large proportion of communication is done via body language, folded arms can be seen as a big gesture. "I am uncomfortable around" is the defensive mechanism of folded arms. The memory mentor website has conducted research and affirms folded arms has been linked to anti social behaviour. http://www.memorymentor.com/what_does_folded_arms_mean.htm Whenever someone folds their arms in the company of someone else, the omen is never a good one, as the crossed arms individual is "paying less attention" to what the other person is saying. These people are retracting from the conversation and are frankly more comfortable wandering off in their own mind, with less regard for the person they are talking to. Not only anti-social but disrespectful as well.

The next time you are in a social context and they fold their arms, ask them if they're cold. If they don't pick up, ask them why they've folded their arms. You might learn something about the person. And you might get them to drop this hideous non-verbal communication.